Traditional Herero Wedding

Imagine a weekend-long campout with all of your favorite people. That's about the simplest way I can describe a traditional Herero wedding. 😄 On the Friday, everybody started trickling into the bride's village throughout the day. Those on the bride's side set up their tents around the main house. The groom and the groom's guests set up their camps a little distance away. Guests are not allowed to cross over and visit those on the other side, at least not yet.

I had only arrived back in the country at about 2:30 Friday afternoon. I quickly got cleaned up, unpacked and repacked my suitcase, then was out of the house by 5:00 to go pick up my suits and those people I was giving a lift. I had no idea where we were going, so we convoyed up with another car. However, they proceeded to stop at every town along the way, and one guy even stopped to get a haircut at 9:30 at night. 🤦 We finally arrived at the village at 12:30am, but still found most people awake and chilling around the fire. In the bright moonlight, we found a nice tree next to the riverbed where we set up camp.

The first 'event' on Saturday morning was the bride's family bringing us a small cow to feed the groom and his guests. They led it with a rope tied to one of its back legs. Ordinarily I was told they just let it go and we would have to catch it, but this family was very gracious and they just handed over the rope. The guys then held it down and slaughtered it. They had gathered a certain kind of branches on which they laid out the pieces to dry before they were cooked.

Next up, we exchanged some of the meat. The bride's family brought us a rack of ribs, and we sent them back ribs with a shoulder. This is supposed to symbolize how in Genesis 2 the woman was made from a rib of the man.

At this point, all the groomsmen were told to suit up, because we never knew when the bride's family would call for us. A little while later, after they had cooked the meat, they called, so us groomsmen escorted the groom from our camp to the bride's house. We all surrounded the groom and walked very slowly with our heads down from the gate of their yard up to the front door of their house. He went inside alone and they ate the rib together. Afterward, we met him at the front door and escorted him back with the same slow walk.

By now everyone else was starting to put on their fancy wedding attire in preparation for the main event. Naturally, this provided for plenty of photo ops.

The traditional Herero dress for women incorporates both the Victorian influence of the original missionaries as well as their livestock culture. The headdress, called otjikaiva (pronounced oshi-kai-va), is patterned after cow horns. Their dresses are bulked up by many underlayers and a padding on the back side. When wearing the dress they are supposed to walk slowly, with almost a little waddle that mimics how cattle walk.

Meanwhile, the men all wear hats and carry a "stick" (a cane). The groom wears a white scarf underneath his hat to distinguish him from the other men. For the groomsmen, our sticks couldn't touch the ground all weekend.

In the Herero tradition, the bride is shut up in a room in her family's house for days before the wedding. No one actually sees her except her few attendants helping her with food and getting dressed. She even wears a thick veil over her head and she's not supposed to look at or speak with anyone. The main event on Saturday afternoon is the only time she actually comes out. She was entirely surrounded by her 18 bridesmaids. Still covered with her veil, she clung to the back of the lady walking in front of her, so still no one saw much of her. All the women stood in a crescent around the campfire singing exuberantly, while all the men sat in the shade and watched. Led by some elder ladies stomping and singing, the bridal party paraded very slowly around the fire, then returned to the house. The whole process took all of 15 minutes.

Then a few elder ladies from the groom's side came and took a piece of meat from the bride's family's pot. This symbolizes that the families are now together. Only after this are guests from each side allowed to mingle with those in the other camp.

After this, everybody just chills around their campfires, eating, drinking, dancing, smoking, playing games, or whatever they do. Then late at night, around 11pm or so, the groomsmen once again escort the groom to the bride's house. They "sneak" him into the bride's room where the two will spend the night laying fully clothed next to each other in the same bed. An older auntie or grandmother is nearby as a bit of a 'chaperone.' Then before sunrise, around 4am or so, the groomsmen go back and "sneak" him out. I put sneak in quotes because it's part of the pomp and ceremony. Everyone knows it's happening. It's part of the tradition.

Then on Sunday morning "we go get our wife." The Herero culture is more communalistic than individualistic. So the bride's family is giving their daughter to be part of the groom's family. That's why they use the plural, now she is "ours" as in, part of our family.

The whole groom's party parades over to the bride's house in their cars. Most wait outside while a small group of family members escort the groom inside the house where the elders give their last words of advice to the new couple.

As the new couple exits the house together for the first time, still surrounded with their heads down, the wife still covered in her veil against the back of a woman in front of her, now the party ensues. There is exuberant shouting, singing, and dancing as everyone crowds around them on the way back to the cars. The couple gets into the back seat of a nice truck and then we parade, honking our car horns, back to the groom's tent. And now they're married!

Now he will take her back to his family village, but for us the party is over. We pack up camp and head back home hoping to get enough sleep before Monday morning comes way too early. 😂

Extravagant Love

"I want to live like I know what I'm leaving" (lyric from Switchfoot's Awakening). Leaving is a potent reality for someone living abroad. Sometimes I am leaving the States to come to Namibia, or leaving Namibia for the States. Whichever side I am on, I'm missing out on what's happening on the other side, weddings, funerals, birthdays, reunions, etc.

That's why, when I heard that my good friend's wife suddenly passed away, I was thankful to be able to go spend some time with him. To be honest, I'm not that spontaneous of a person. I had my plan for the next 2 weeks, events to attend and class to teach. Plus, it's really far and plane tickets are expensive. But looking at my schedule, there actually wasn't that much that I would have to reschedule. And what else do we have money for if not for loving people better?! So within 3 days I had booked a flight and a rental car, got a covid test, packed a suitcase, and hopped on a plane.

I arrived at the funeral only about 15 minutes late, just in time to hear my friend share. I spent the next week basically tagging along with him and his 3-year-old son, chipping in wherever I could help. I was encouraged by how much community he had around him through church, friends, and his wife’s family. But it will still be a daunting task learning how to do life and raise their son without her.

Then after catching up with a few other friends, I went home to visit fam and enjoy New Hampshire in the Fall. Despite the primary reason for going back, it was good to be there and visit with friends and family. Little did I know, a dark cloud was about to descend on an otherwise good trip.

Meeting up with old friends	Enjoying Fall in New Hampshire

We woke up at 2:30am to drive down to Boston to catch my early flight out. As I was checking in they told me my passport needed 6 months validity in order to enter Namibia. Mine would expire in 3 months, so I couldn't board the plane. I had no idea that was an entry requirement because it had never applied to me before. So now I would need a new passport in order to go back.

Ordinarily, one applies for a passport renewal through the mail and it can take up to 14 weeks. You can pay extra to expedite and get it back within 10 weeks. Then lastly, there is an emergency travel option which can get you a day-of renewal, but the earliest appointment I could get wasn't for 2 weeks. I was supposed to be a groomsman in a wedding the next weekend, which I would now have to miss. I was devastated. This trip that was supposed to be a loving opportunity to be there for my friend would now forever be remembered for causing me to not be there for my other friend. I was frustrated at myself for not knowing that requirement, and I was frustrated with God for knowing and allowing me to get stuck in this situation anyway!

As I was depressed and sulky all Monday afternoon, I started processing these events to see what God had for me to learn through them. God doesn't always answer the 'why' question. Or sometimes we may only get a partial answer. As I laid in bed that night, grieving losing out on attending this wedding, I was reminded of something my other friend had said after the loss of his wife. He said that theologically he knew all the truths about God's sovereignty and His perfect plan, but at the moment he didn't feel like it. It still sucked that his wife was gone. At the time I had a hard time relating because for me, I try to let what I know lead my feelings. But now I found myself (on a much smaller scale!) with a similar dilemma. I know God is in control and this whole thing is part of His plan, but it would still suck to miss the wedding. So this process of grieving the loss of the wedding helped me in a small way understand my friend better who was grieving the loss of his wife.

But God wasn't done yet. The next morning I decided I would exhaust every possible option to make it to this wedding before I gave up on it entirely. So I called the office of my state representative to the U.S. Senate. Now of course, I'm just one little, insignificant constituent, so why would my little problem matter to her. Her office clearly has much bigger things to worry about. But I thought, let me just try. So I called the office, explained my situation, and within hours they had gotten me an appointment to renew my passport the very next day!

I woke up early to make the hour drive to the Passport Agency Office, and showed up 30 minutes early for my appointment. This was the last appointment I would want to be late to! I got my new passport in hand by 2:00pm and started calling the airline to rebook my flight. After hours of being either on hold or finally reaching someone but having a bad connection, by 7:00pm I had a flight booked for 5:45am the next morning. Now instead of the dark cloud, this whole trip would be remember for God's providential answer to prayer in allowing me to be back to Namibia in time for the wedding!

Which brings me back to a Switchfoot lyric coming through the radio on my drive home from the passport office. "I want to live like I know what I'm leaving." I could easily have stayed home, not been spontaneous, and stuck with the original plan. I could have talked to my friend on the phone instead. After all, he's in the States and most of my life is in Namibia now. But I don't want to harden myself to people and life just so it hurts less when I have to leave. I want to invest with extravagant love, like flying halfway across the world to spend time with my friend. Sure it hurts when you miss people, either when they leave or you leave. But that heartache means you have loved well. So go out and love with extravagance, feel all the feels, so you can say, 'Yes, I have lived and loved so well that I know exactly what I'm leaving.'

A Biblical View of Singleness

One of the courses being taught at NETS this semester is called "Gender, Singleness, Marriage and Family" (yes, I know we really need to come up with a better title 😂). In general, Namibian culture has a fairly negative view of singleness and places a high priority on bearing children and having descendants. This makes sense when many traditional religions venerate their ancestors as mediators between them and God. Marriage and family is the expectation and extended singleness is considered at best, weird, and at worst, a curse. So I was excited for the opportunity to be a guest lecturer for this course teaching the section on singleness.

The Bible actually offers an incredibly positive view of singleness lived in purity for the sake of God's kingdom. When the disciples considered Jesus' comments on divorce, they responded, Perhaps "it is better not to marry." And the remarkable thing is... Jesus agreed with them! In Matt 19:11-12, Jesus said:

"Not everyone can receive this word, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it."

A eunuch was a man who was castrated. Some men may have received it as a birth defect. Sometimes, particularly in the palace, male slaves would be castrated to keep them away from the royal women and protect the dynasty. But others choose it voluntarily for the sake of serving God’s kingdom, whether literally (Origen being the most famous case) or figuratively in the sense of choosing to remain single. And Jesus remarkably says that those who can actually accept this statement should live this way! Living as a single person serving God's kingdom purposes is a good thing!

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul affirms the same truth. In vv.8-9, he says, "It is good for them to remain single" as long as they have the self-control to live with purity. In vv.32-35, he comments how married people have divided interests, because just practically they need to care for their spouses and families. But a single person can spend their time and energy fully devoted to the Lord (like the eunuch for the sake of the kingdom). He ends off in v.38 saying, "So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better."

Not taking anything away from the goodness of marriage (the Bible regularly confirms the goodness of marriage), but singleness lived in purity for the sake of God's kingdom purposes is a very good thing! One professor helpfully illustrated it like being part of the special forces in the military.

But what about the idea of children and descendants? Certainly in the OT, having many offspring was a blessing (e.g., Gen 1:28; Deut 7:12ff; Ps 127:3-5). Barrenness was a curse and having no posterity was a fate worse than death because your name would be blotted out from the face of the earth (e.g., Deut 29:20; 1 Sam 24:21; Ps 109:13). But Isaiah introduces us to two fascinating characters: 1) The barren woman of Isa 54:1-5 will have more children than the married woman! And 2) The eunuch of Isa 56:4-5 will be given “an everlasting name that shall not be cut off,” and one that is “better than sons and daughters.” What is the great hope for single people that Isaiah describes here? Who are these offspring?

Looking forward into the NT, Paul recognizes that Christ is the ultimate offspring of Abraham through whom all the nations of the earth will be blessed (Gal 3:8, 16). And from the single divine offspring come many offspring, for all those who are in Christ are also “Abraham’s offspring” (Gal 3:29). So if we are in Christ we are Abraham's spiritual offspring.

So then, the physical multiplication of Israel in the OT becoming as numerous as the stars in the sky and sand on the seashore was a picture pointing forward to the spiritual multiplication of God's people to become an innumerable multitude from every tribe, language, people, and nation (Rev 7:9). So now, the primary mission of the church is to raise and nurture spiritual children through making disciples and expanding the kingdom of God (Matt 28:18-20; 2 Tim 2:1-2). Paul regularly talks about those whom have come to Christ through his ministry as his spiritual children (e.g., 1 Cor 4:14; Gal 4:19; 1 Tim 1:2; Tit 1:4; Phlm 1:10). Certainly families raising godly children is an important way to make disciples, but the mission is broader than this. And in that mission, single people have a very important role to play in raising spiritual children.

So, singleness is not a curse, or a disease you need to be cured from. It is a gracious gift from God, a time in your life when you can be undivided in your devotion and service of Him. The real question then is, what are you doing with this gift? Are you using it for God’s glory and mission, expanding His kingdom through raising and nurturing spiritual children?

Covid Update

Over this past month, during our lockdown, the situation has improved. Our daily new infection rates have dropped from about 1600 to about 800. But along the way Namibia has become first in the world in deaths per capita due to covid. Starting tomorrow things will open up a bit with no regional travel restriction, a later curfew, and groups of up to 50 people. And, thankfully, we'll be able to return to face-to-face teaching at the seminary.

Regarding vaccines... I mentioned earlier that we did have two different vaccines available (AstraZeneca and Sinopharm). I even had an appointment earlier this month, but before I could go for the appointment our whole city ran out of vaccine stock. 🤦🏼‍♂️ We have now received more stock, but with the sudden spike in cases now everyone's interested and the lines are long. For some people the wait has been 3-7 hours (not exaggerating!). That's not for the poke, mind you, but due to all the hand written paperwork (🤦🏼‍♂️again). But even still, only 6.1% of our population have gotten their first shot, and only 1.8% have been fully vaccinated.

But in all this I have great peace, because the truth is any suffering we experience is a microcosm of God's great story. Remember from literature class, the tension of any plot line cries out for and points us toward the resolution. So any pain and suffering we experience in this world, is only a temporary precursor to life eternal! As Paul said, "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed in us" (Rom 8:17).

I love the lyrics from Andrew Peterson's great song, "The Dark Before the Dawn":
I had a dream that I was waking

At the burning edge of dawn
And I could see the fields of glory
I could hear the sower's song
And all that rain had washed me clean
All the sorrow was gone
And I could finally believe
The king had loved me all along
I saw the sower in the silver mist
And He was calling me home

Pentateuch via Distance

Second semester at NETS has begun via distance education due to the tight covid restrictions in the country. I am teaching seven students through the books of the Pentateuch. We started off using Zoom which has worked out well over all. The trouble with taking online classes from home is that we often have to call students to wake them up!

I've also been making some videos discussing Genesis 1. Since I needed to be preparing for online class anyway, I decided to make them in a format accessible to anyone, and something that helps complement your personal Bible reading. You can check out those videos here.

Everyone seems to recognize that distance mode is less than ideal. We all miss the face-to-face contact for class, but also for mentoring groups, weekly Chapel, and socializing at tea time. Hopefully these restrictions will be lifted soon.

Covid Update

Since our second wave hit during the December-January holiday time, new cases had leveled off in Namibia. We were feeling optimistic with the decrease in cases and news of vaccines circulating. The government brought in a million doses of two vaccines, AstraZeneca and Sinopharm, and made it available for free. But people have been suspicious of conspiracy theories, or vaccine related deaths, or that it may be the "mark of the beast" from Revelation. So few people were going to get vaccinated that you could literally walk in with no lines and no waiting.

Additionally, people are tired of the restrictions, the face masks, the distancing, the group size limits. They are anxious for life to return to normal, so they stopped taking precautions. Recently, a video surfaced of a group of people partying at a night club after attending a covid-related funeral earlier that same day. So it wasn't much of a surprise when the third wave hit.

I first noticed it when more and more people in my circles were testing positive, or were in close contact with those who did. Then the numbers started rising, 400, 700, 800 new cases daily. Each day we kept setting new records for new cases. We've now been over 1000 new cases daily for the better part of this week, topping out at 2075 on Wednesday. These number may seem small in comparison, but remember we are a nation of only 2.5 million people. That makes Namibia the country with the second highest rate of new infections per capita on the entire continent.

With nearly 50% of the new infections occurring in the capital city, the government instituted a quarantine zone around the greater Windhoek area. Schools have been largely moved to distance learning mode. All contact sports have been cancelled and night clubs and casinos are closed. And we continue to have a curfew at 10pm each night.

Fortunately for me, NETS (Namibia Evangelical Theological Seminary) is closed for their mid-year break, and with my other SIM duties I can mostly work from home. So I have been able to stay fairly self-isolated and healthy during this time. Our hope is that this calms down over the next month allowing us to resume face-to-face classes when we return for the second semester in mid-July.

The True Kingdom Citizen

This semester at NETS we've been studying through the Sermon on the Mount in our Chapel times together. I got to conclude our series in our final Chapel preaching from Matthew 7:13-27 on the topic of being a true kingdom citizen. We’ve all known people who seem very spiritual on a Sunday morning, but live a completely different way during the rest of the week. So is a simple profession of faith, or saying a “sinner’s prayer” enough to be saved? You can download and listen to the message here. [Note: Our chapel service was held outdoors due to Covid so the wind and ambient noise affected the audio quality. Sorry.]