Extravagant Love

"I want to live like I know what I'm leaving" (lyric from Switchfoot's Awakening). Leaving is a potent reality for someone living abroad. Sometimes I am leaving the States to come to Namibia, or leaving Namibia for the States. Whichever side I am on, I'm missing out on what's happening on the other side, weddings, funerals, birthdays, reunions, etc.

That's why, when I heard that my good friend's wife suddenly passed away, I was thankful to be able to go spend some time with him. To be honest, I'm not that spontaneous of a person. I had my plan for the next 2 weeks, events to attend and class to teach. Plus, it's really far and plane tickets are expensive. But looking at my schedule, there actually wasn't that much that I would have to reschedule. And what else do we have money for if not for loving people better?! So within 3 days I had booked a flight and a rental car, got a covid test, packed a suitcase, and hopped on a plane.

I arrived at the funeral only about 15 minutes late, just in time to hear my friend share. I spent the next week basically tagging along with him and his 3-year-old son, chipping in wherever I could help. I was encouraged by how much community he had around him through church, friends, and his wife’s family. But it will still be a daunting task learning how to do life and raise their son without her.

Then after catching up with a few other friends, I went home to visit fam and enjoy New Hampshire in the Fall. Despite the primary reason for going back, it was good to be there and visit with friends and family. Little did I know, a dark cloud was about to descend on an otherwise good trip.

Meeting up with old friends	Enjoying Fall in New Hampshire

We woke up at 2:30am to drive down to Boston to catch my early flight out. As I was checking in they told me my passport needed 6 months validity in order to enter Namibia. Mine would expire in 3 months, so I couldn't board the plane. I had no idea that was an entry requirement because it had never applied to me before. So now I would need a new passport in order to go back.

Ordinarily, one applies for a passport renewal through the mail and it can take up to 14 weeks. You can pay extra to expedite and get it back within 10 weeks. Then lastly, there is an emergency travel option which can get you a day-of renewal, but the earliest appointment I could get wasn't for 2 weeks. I was supposed to be a groomsman in a wedding the next weekend, which I would now have to miss. I was devastated. This trip that was supposed to be a loving opportunity to be there for my friend would now forever be remembered for causing me to not be there for my other friend. I was frustrated at myself for not knowing that requirement, and I was frustrated with God for knowing and allowing me to get stuck in this situation anyway!

As I was depressed and sulky all Monday afternoon, I started processing these events to see what God had for me to learn through them. God doesn't always answer the 'why' question. Or sometimes we may only get a partial answer. As I laid in bed that night, grieving losing out on attending this wedding, I was reminded of something my other friend had said after the loss of his wife. He said that theologically he knew all the truths about God's sovereignty and His perfect plan, but at the moment he didn't feel like it. It still sucked that his wife was gone. At the time I had a hard time relating because for me, I try to let what I know lead my feelings. But now I found myself (on a much smaller scale!) with a similar dilemma. I know God is in control and this whole thing is part of His plan, but it would still suck to miss the wedding. So this process of grieving the loss of the wedding helped me in a small way understand my friend better who was grieving the loss of his wife.

But God wasn't done yet. The next morning I decided I would exhaust every possible option to make it to this wedding before I gave up on it entirely. So I called the office of my state representative to the U.S. Senate. Now of course, I'm just one little, insignificant constituent, so why would my little problem matter to her. Her office clearly has much bigger things to worry about. But I thought, let me just try. So I called the office, explained my situation, and within hours they had gotten me an appointment to renew my passport the very next day!

I woke up early to make the hour drive to the Passport Agency Office, and showed up 30 minutes early for my appointment. This was the last appointment I would want to be late to! I got my new passport in hand by 2:00pm and started calling the airline to rebook my flight. After hours of being either on hold or finally reaching someone but having a bad connection, by 7:00pm I had a flight booked for 5:45am the next morning. Now instead of the dark cloud, this whole trip would be remember for God's providential answer to prayer in allowing me to be back to Namibia in time for the wedding!

Which brings me back to a Switchfoot lyric coming through the radio on my drive home from the passport office. "I want to live like I know what I'm leaving." I could easily have stayed home, not been spontaneous, and stuck with the original plan. I could have talked to my friend on the phone instead. After all, he's in the States and most of my life is in Namibia now. But I don't want to harden myself to people and life just so it hurts less when I have to leave. I want to invest with extravagant love, like flying halfway across the world to spend time with my friend. Sure it hurts when you miss people, either when they leave or you leave. But that heartache means you have loved well. So go out and love with extravagance, feel all the feels, so you can say, 'Yes, I have lived and loved so well that I know exactly what I'm leaving.'