A Biblical View of Singleness

One of the courses being taught at NETS this semester is called "Gender, Singleness, Marriage and Family" (yes, I know we really need to come up with a better title 😂). In general, Namibian culture has a fairly negative view of singleness and places a high priority on bearing children and having descendants. This makes sense when many traditional religions venerate their ancestors as mediators between them and God. Marriage and family is the expectation and extended singleness is considered at best, weird, and at worst, a curse. So I was excited for the opportunity to be a guest lecturer for this course teaching the section on singleness.

The Bible actually offers an incredibly positive view of singleness lived in purity for the sake of God's kingdom. When the disciples considered Jesus' comments on divorce, they responded, Perhaps "it is better not to marry." And the remarkable thing is... Jesus agreed with them! In Matt 19:11-12, Jesus said:

"Not everyone can receive this word, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it."

A eunuch was a man who was castrated. Some men may have received it as a birth defect. Sometimes, particularly in the palace, male slaves would be castrated to keep them away from the royal women and protect the dynasty. But others choose it voluntarily for the sake of serving God’s kingdom, whether literally (Origen being the most famous case) or figuratively in the sense of choosing to remain single. And Jesus remarkably says that those who can actually accept this statement should live this way! Living as a single person serving God's kingdom purposes is a good thing!

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul affirms the same truth. In vv.8-9, he says, "It is good for them to remain single" as long as they have the self-control to live with purity. In vv.32-35, he comments how married people have divided interests, because just practically they need to care for their spouses and families. But a single person can spend their time and energy fully devoted to the Lord (like the eunuch for the sake of the kingdom). He ends off in v.38 saying, "So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better."

Not taking anything away from the goodness of marriage (the Bible regularly confirms the goodness of marriage), but singleness lived in purity for the sake of God's kingdom purposes is a very good thing! One professor helpfully illustrated it like being part of the special forces in the military.

But what about the idea of children and descendants? Certainly in the OT, having many offspring was a blessing (e.g., Gen 1:28; Deut 7:12ff; Ps 127:3-5). Barrenness was a curse and having no posterity was a fate worse than death because your name would be blotted out from the face of the earth (e.g., Deut 29:20; 1 Sam 24:21; Ps 109:13). But Isaiah introduces us to two fascinating characters: 1) The barren woman of Isa 54:1-5 will have more children than the married woman! And 2) The eunuch of Isa 56:4-5 will be given “an everlasting name that shall not be cut off,” and one that is “better than sons and daughters.” What is the great hope for single people that Isaiah describes here? Who are these offspring?

Looking forward into the NT, Paul recognizes that Christ is the ultimate offspring of Abraham through whom all the nations of the earth will be blessed (Gal 3:8, 16). And from the single divine offspring come many offspring, for all those who are in Christ are also “Abraham’s offspring” (Gal 3:29). So if we are in Christ we are Abraham's spiritual offspring.

So then, the physical multiplication of Israel in the OT becoming as numerous as the stars in the sky and sand on the seashore was a picture pointing forward to the spiritual multiplication of God's people to become an innumerable multitude from every tribe, language, people, and nation (Rev 7:9). So now, the primary mission of the church is to raise and nurture spiritual children through making disciples and expanding the kingdom of God (Matt 28:18-20; 2 Tim 2:1-2). Paul regularly talks about those whom have come to Christ through his ministry as his spiritual children (e.g., 1 Cor 4:14; Gal 4:19; 1 Tim 1:2; Tit 1:4; Phlm 1:10). Certainly families raising godly children is an important way to make disciples, but the mission is broader than this. And in that mission, single people have a very important role to play in raising spiritual children.

So, singleness is not a curse, or a disease you need to be cured from. It is a gracious gift from God, a time in your life when you can be undivided in your devotion and service of Him. The real question then is, what are you doing with this gift? Are you using it for God’s glory and mission, expanding His kingdom through raising and nurturing spiritual children?