How to listen well to a missionary on home assignment

We all know the drill. Missionaries go out across the world doing amazing work, and then every now and then they show up back at our churches to share about what God's doing in other parts of the world. We all love the idea, and their stories about cultural mishaps are funny, but let's be honest, sometimes the more personal conversations can be a bit difficult and awkward.

There are plenty of valid reasons for this. They've spent years adapting to a new culture that you are clueless about and can't relate to. You don't know any of the places or people involved in their stories. Meanwhile you've carried on your own life at home without them. Maybe we even want to know what's happening, but we just don't know what questions to ask.

So my hope is to give you a few tips and questions to ask that can help you embrace the awkwardness and love your missionaries better.

#1: Remember our common bond in Christ. You may not be able to relate to all their experiences, but one thing we all have in common is a relationship with Jesus. If nothing else, you can connect over that.

#2: Stalk them before they come. That's right, get on their Facebook page. Read their latest newsletter or blogposts. Get informed so you know better what they've been up to and what questions you can ask. There's nothing quite as discouraging as when someone who receives their newsletter asks, "So remind me again, what are you doing there?"

#3: Be curious. Be willing to learn about a culture, a place, and a ministry that you are unfamiliar with. Not only will they be excited to share, but it will help broaden your perspective on God's work around the world.

#4: Chat in small groups. There's safety in numbers. Sometimes somebody else has an interesting question that you hadn't thought of.

#5: Ask specific, open-ended questions. There's nothing worse than the question, "So, how is Namibia?" Seriously?! How do you expect me to answer that. I know you're only asking because you don't really know what to ask, so that's why I'm here to help. First, ask more specific questions so I know what you're interested in. Also, ask open-ended questions that don't have one word answers. Then listen carefully so you can ask a follow up question. Here are some suggestions to get you started...

Questions about the place:
How is the landscape different than here?
What is the weather like?
What is the religious climate of the country?
What are the languages they speak? Have you had to learn any of them?

Questions about the people:
What are the population demographics like in the area where you live?
Tell me about the people you're ministering with?
What students/disciples are you most excited about lately?
Where have you found good community and friendships?

Questions about their experience:
What are the specific ministries you're involved in there?
What are some foods you like/dislike there?
What are your favorite parts about living there?
Regarding cultural differences: Do you have a specific story about that?

Remember, speaking about the place and the culture may be interesting, but their passion and the reason they are there is the people they are ministering among. Get them talking about people and they'll come alive.

Listening well to our missionaries helps them feel loved, cared for, and understood. And that's often what they need most during home assignment. So let's make the effort to learn how to be better listeners.

The Queen City

The first major stop on my Home Assignment tour is Charlotte, North Carolina. I lived here for four years while attending Reformed Theological Seminary. It's by far the largest city that I've ever lived in. The greater Charlotte area has about the same population as the whole country of Namibia! Charlotte has about everything you could want in a city, tons of restaurants, artsy districts, great parks, professional sports, an amusement park, a hopping downtown, but plenty of suburbs for a smaller town family feel. I'll be here about three weeks visiting old friends, reconnecting with my old church, and doing some trainings and debriefing at the SIM head office.

NASCAR headquarters in Charlotte

Charlotte is also the headquarters for SIM USA

4th of July

July 4th is the day Americans celebrate the signing of the Declaration of Independence and their birthday as a nation. Every town across the country has their own form of celebration. There are huge parades with old cars and floats and bands and military veterans and people throwing out candy to the kids. There a flags everywhere and backyard barbecues. And of course, the day always closes of with huge fireworks displays. I haven't been in the States for a 4th of July in four years so it's nice to celebrate with the hometown crowd again! Here's some pics and video to give you a little taste of the festivities...

Food trucks at the town celebration

The 2nd Regiment Band playing some patriotic tunes and pop hits

Big crowds turn out for the fireworks show

Sparklers to celebrate

And of course, the grand finale...

Cultural Adjustments

Travel back to the States for my Home Assignment was uneventful. I flew from Windhoek, to Johannesburg, to London, to Boston. Layovers provided some welcome hours to sleep stretched-out and lying down, and to use the free airport wifi. Overall my travel lasted about 31 hours bringing me back to the place that I had for so long called 'home'.

However, it didn't take long before I started running into cultural differences where I needed to readjust. Apparently the Red Sox had just played a baseball game in London the night before, so our plane was filled with Boston sports chatter and American accents. As soon as I walked out of the airport I was confronted with the humidity of a temperate summer. After loading my baggage into the trunk, I waited behind the car desperately trying to figure out which side was the passenger side so I wouldn't be embarrassed by going to the wrong door. The friend who picked me up from the airport, his kids had gotten tall and really grown up in the 3 years since I'd seen them last. After picking up my borrowed vehicle, I had to keep reminding myself that there is no clutch to push down and to stay on the right side of the road. Even just drinking a Coke today, I was reminded that they use different recipes for different regions, and I've grown used to the taste of southern African Coke.

It's funny the little things that we become so used to, that become such ingrained habits. Those are some of the things that make up our culture, the things we think and do "unthinkingly," as Dallas Willard says. Even when you are well-prepared and expecting them, some of those difference can still take you by surprise when they happen, like a simple sip of Coke. So that's the stage of reentry that I'm in at the moment.

Photo of the Day

Peaceful mornings on the lake